Romance is the building block of any Bollywood movie. Independent "art house" cinema is where filmmakers can explore heavy themes and social issues, but mainstream Bollywood always builds a movie around the story of a boy and a girl. If they can't be together, you get melodrama. If they can be together, you get a comedy. More often than not, you get a mixture of the two, where it starts out funny, devolves into a sobfest, and then rights itself back into a happy ending. Lately, Bollywood has been a little less heavy-handed and flexed its comedy chops, like in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani. But now we have Chennai Express, directed by Rohit Shetty, a man whose dictionary does not include the word, "subtle."
The basic plot of Chennai Express is as follows: Rahul (Shahrukh Khan) gets on a train (the eponymous Chennai Express) and meets a South Indian girl named Meenamma (Deepika Padukone). She ran away from home because her father, who is a gangster, is forcing her to marry another gangster's son so that he can expand his empire. He has sent his thugs after Meenamma, and they find her with Rahul on the train. Rahul is recruited as her unwilling ally against these gangsters and he ends up in her village, pretending to be her fiance.
I could go on, but suffice to say, there are endless complications, all of which seem to end with Rahul and Meenamma running away, only to return back to her village and get into yet another scrape. It's an astonishingly cyclical plot, spun out for three hours with some colorful songs thrown in for good measure. And because the director is Rohit Shetty, there are innumerable action sequences and car chases that provide excellent opportunities for a bathroom break.
The only joy of Chennai Express lies in its North-South divide. Rahul only speaks Hindi, but Meenamma's family members only speak Tamil. Thankfully, Meenamma speaks both languages, else the romance would never get going. The language barrier allows for some pretty hysterical moments, although at times the dialogue gets so dumbed down that it feels like the South Indians have forgotten to speak Tamil properly and the North Indians are struggling to say anything in Hindi. This movie is best enjoyed if you speak both languages, because then you're completely in on the joke - if you only speak one language, you will miss any minor attempts at cleverness.
The movie is genuinely funny in parts but a massive bore otherwise, and spirals completely out of control at the end. In true Shahrukh Khan fashion, everything has to be resolved with an overlong bloody fight, so he can do his shtick and win the girl in as cliched a manner as possible. His acting is tolerable throughout the film, but he's still Shahrukh, which means he's a perfect match for the un-subtle stylings of Rohit Shetty. You'll be beaten over the head with allusions to some of his previous work, which are funny at first and then just eye-roll-inducing. Thankfully, Deepika Padukone is reliably delightful and escapes from becoming a complete caricature. So watch Chennai Express if you're a fan of these actors, enjoy lowest common denominator comedy, or if you're South Indian and get a thrill from hearing some Tamil in a Bollywood film. But if you're looking for something fresh and bold, you definitely don't want to board the Chennai Express.