Modern Romance: Stand-up Sociology

As a devoted fan of Parks and Recreation, it was a foregone conclusion that I would be reading Aziz Ansari's debut book, Modern Romance. I had seen him discussing it in interviews and heard good things about it from various reviews, but nothing could prepare me for the experience of actually reading this book. I sat down with it last Saturday and devoured it over the course of the day, unable to understand how a stand-up comedian was able to write a shockingly profound book that is basically a sociology dissertation. Of course, credit is due to co-author Eric Klinenberg, a sociologist at NYU, who clearly mapped out the research and data that would be most pertinent to this book. But Aziz Ansari has taken that research and crafted a shockingly easy-to-read book that is eye-opening, honest, and hysterical.

The central concern of this book is to investigate how people find love in the modern age. And to investigate how this is different from previous generations. This is already a very broad and unwieldy topic so Ansari is quick to note that this research predominantly reflects heterosexual, middle-class relationships, as factoring in further nuances would require an astronomical page count (though I can only hope he writes some sequels). He begins at the very beginning, looking at how people's romantic expectations have changed. A few generations ago, people didn't really consider "romantic love" to be a priority. If you married someone you loved, you were lucky, but most women still considered marriage a way of gaining some freedom from familial restrictions. And almost everyone married someone who lived close by.

Now look at present day, where everyone wants to find a soulmate. People are marrying later and later, embracing a new stage of life called "emerging adulthood," where you can find yourself and become your own person before you find a partner. Women can get educated and live unchaperoned, they don't need to get married to have new experiences. And while this is great, it also poses significant dating challenges that never existed a few decades ago. People don't marry their next-door neighbor anymore. The world is huge and interconnected and when you're on a quest to find your perfect soulmate, you're not going to settle for the guy across the street. The world of online dating and hook-up apps provide endless choice and the key is to not get bogged down in all those choices but figure out how to filter through the Internet noise and decide on how you're going to make an actual human connection.

There are hilarious chapters devoted to the art of texting, romance in other cultures (Japan, where people aren't having enough sex, and Argentina, where people are having way too much), tips for a perfect online dating profile and first date, etc. This is both an informational handbook and an instruction manual for the lovelorn. And it is written in Ansari's trademark style so you can almost hear him reading this book to you. (I'm already waiting to listen to the audiobook because I've heard he makes that an even more fantastic experience.)

Modern Romance is a wildly ambitious and thoughtful book that beautifully breaks down a topic that is of interest to almost everyone. Even if you're in a happy, committed relationship, you can get plenty of advice to understand how to keep the romance alive. Or you can learn about the angst your single friends are enduring and dispense some sage tips about what kind of profile pic will attract more people on Match.com. If you think you have zero interest in sociology or this topic, think again. This is a funny book that will subtly nudge you into caring deeply about its subject matter. It is refreshing to see a comedian write something other than a memoir, and if Aziz Ansari wants to drop everything to go pursue a sociology degree, that's perfectly fine by me. Just as long as he writes more books like this one. 

The Jinx: To Catch a Murderer

Yes, The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst was a big deal many months ago, but I only watched it recently. If, like me, you've been behind on your TV watching, now's your chance to log on to HBO Go, and discover what all the fuss was about in March. I promise, you won't be disappointed.

Written and directed by Andrew Jarecki, The Jinx is a six-part documentary about Robert Durst, one of the heirs of the wealthy New York Durst family. The series begins in 2001, when Durst was arrested in Galveston, TX for the murder and dismemberment of his neighbor. We then flashback to 1982, when Durst's wife Kathie disappeared and was never heard from again. And over the course of six episodes, we are treated to a progressively horrifying tale of a man who almost certainly got away with murder. Thrice.

The Jinx is such a meticulously crafted series that I don't want to give away much more here. It features interviews with the detectives, lawyers, friends, and family members who were all involved in these various cases. More importantly, it features interviews with Robert Durst himself. Now in his seventies, he took a shine to the director, and requested a special interview with him to give his side of the story. And the beauty of The Jinx lies in watching how the filmmakers get woven into Durst's story and find themselves beguiled and befuddled by this very eccentric and very dangerous man. Initially, this is a straightforward documentary that aims to tell a tale about a man who might be responsible for three murders. However, towards the end, the filmmakers are increasingly in front of the camera, and as new evidence comes to light, the series becomes an actual crusade for justice.

The Jinx is a fascinating piece of television, one of those landmark documentaries like Paradise Lost that don't just strive to tell a story but actually seek to deliver justice. For six episodes, The Jinx treated us to a brilliant game of cat-and-mouse that both creeped me out and intrigued me in equal measure. The outcome of the series will be spoiled if you look for the latest news about Robert Durst, but even if you know how it ends, the true magic is to see how we got there. 

Ant-Man: The Power of Being Small

Marvel Studios is charging full steam ahead and their next superhero offering is Ant-Man. Who seems a rather laughable hero, until you watch this movie. Thanks to the special effects and the ineffable charm of Paul Rudd, Ant-Man is a perfectly decent addition to the Marvel Cinematic Universe and further proof that the superhero well hasn't run dry yet.

Rudd plays Scott Lang, a small-time cat burglar who has just been released from prison and is trying to get back on the straight and narrow so that he can pay up child support and regain visitation rights with his young daughter. Meanwhile, Michael Douglas plays Dr. Hank Pym, a scientist who discovered the Pym particle and developed a suit that allowed him to shrink down to the size of an ant. Donning this suit, he was able to infiltrate enemy territory and fight the Soviets during the Cold War. However, he recognized the catastrophic consequences of his work getting into the wrong hands and therefore refused to share his research with S.H.I.E.L.D. or anyone who could be tempted to sell his secrets to the highest bidder.

Now, Pym's protege, Darren Cross (Corey Stoll), looks poised to develop a shrinking suit that could cause worldwide chaos. Pym is too old to don the suit and too protective of his daughter, Hope (Evangeline Lilly), to let her help. Instead, he approaches Scott, convinced that with his particular skills and his desire to become a better man for his daughter's sake, he is the perfect candidate to be the next Ant-Man.

The special effects are the best part of this movie. They offer a mind-boggling visual extravaganza as Scott shrinks down to the size of an ant and has to contemplate the world around him. Of course, it draws comparisons to Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, but only to show how far we've come with technology. Some part of my brain was aware that this is all fake movie magic, but another part of my brain was totally along for the ride, fully immersed in the spectacular miniature world the filmmakers have created. The most fun is probably when we flash back and forth between the shrunken and full-size worlds, seeing how an intense battle when you're the size of an ant doesn't look quite so impressive when you're a full-size bewildered onlooker wondering what flew into your bug zapper.

Marvel excels at casting funny men to be their superheroes, and Paul Rudd is his effortlessly charming self throughout this movie, along with a hilarious turn from Michael Pena as his small-time crook friend, Luis. Unfortunately, I didn't think the movie was as funny as other Marvel efforts have been (I certainly didn't love it as much as Guardians of the Galaxy), and it went in for a certain amount of melodrama as far as the Pym family's back story was concerned. All told, however, Ant-Man is a marvelously entertaining movie, filled with unusual action set pieces and good core performances that will ensure you have a good time at the theater.

Wet Hot American Summer: Surreal & Sublime

A few days ago, I suggested 7 Days in Hell as a weird but fun comedy that people could enjoy for 45 minutes. However, if you find yourself with 4 hours on your hands, I highly recommend you log in to your Netflix account and indulge in the weirdness of Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp.

The show is a prequel to 2001's Wet Hot American Summer, a movie that was a dismal flop when it premiered, but has gained a cult following over the past 14 years. The movie is filled with the kind of surreal sketch-like comedy that is very much in vogue now but was probably far too ahead of its time in 2001. But most notably, this film featured a cast of fresh-faced young actors who all went on to become incredibly well-known television and movie stars. This was Bradley Cooper's very first movie, and it also stars Amy Poehler, Janeane Garofalo, Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Michael Ian Black, Christopher Meloni, David Hyde Pierce, etc. And the joy of Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp is that all these people have returned, putting their high-powered careers on hold to spend one more day in this wacky summer camp where things quickly descend into completely implausible chaos.

Each episode of First Day of Camp is crammed with cameos and jokes. If the original cast wasn't impressive enough, the show features an even bigger haul of well-known actors and everyone looks like they are having the time of their life. The episodes all end with massive cliffhangers that ensure you will steadily binge watch your way through all eight episodes and come away with a comedy hangover. The writing by Michael Showalter and David Wain is particularly impressive, because what starts out as a seemingly small stakes show about a mismanaged summer camp suddenly features government conspiracies, investigative journalism, wacky reincarnations, and utterly bewildering moments that hearken back to their sketch comedy bonafides and the reasons we all love the movie.

Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp is a chance to revisit a cult classic and spend some more time with an incredibly talented and funny group of people. The very fact that this is a prequel but features the original cast after they've aged 14 years is all you need to know about the sensibility of this very surreal endeavor. If you were a fan of the movie, this will be a welcome trip down memory lane. And if you're simply a fan of comedy, this is exactly what you've been wanting to watch this weekend. 

7 Days in Hell: Wild & Wacky

7 Days in Hell, starring Andy Samberg and Kit Harington, was a 45-minute HBO "special event" mockumentary that told the story of an epic 7-day Wimbledon match between two very bizarre tennis players. It aired in mid-July but if you missed it like me, you can watch it on HBO. It's only 45 minutes long, so I feel like I should just end this review here, but I suppose you might need a little more context.

Samberg plays the American, Aaron Williams, an Andre Agassi-esque "Bad Boy of Tennis." Hint: it is no coincidence that his last name is Williams. Harington plays the Englishman, Charles Poole, a fresh-faced dimwit whose overbearing mother forced him into tennis at the expense of any proper education. For the first half of the movie, we are introduced to these two men and their wildly different but equally bizarre backstories. We meet the people who influenced them and shaped their lives, and learn about all the events that led to their fateful match at Wimbledon.

The second half brings us to the match itself. Written by Murray Miller, this script was inspired by the 2010 Mahut-Isner match that took place over three days and broke the record for the longest tennis match in history. Comedy relies on hyperbole, so for this movie, we end up with a match that goes on for seven days. I can't even begin to divulge the various reasons it goes on for that long. Suffice to say, it is just as bizarre and preposterous as you would expect from something built on such a bonkers premise to begin with.

7 Days in Hell is like watching an extended Saturday Night Live sketch that goes on for just the right amount of time and contains just the right mix of low-brow and surreal humor. Samberg and Harington are clearly having the time of their life playing these weird characters (yes, it's odd to see Harington playing the clean-shaven antithesis to Jon Snow), and the entire movie is tightly edited to deliver maximum comedic impact. It's a weird little story that could only exist on HBO, and if you're looking for something diverting, I highly recommend it. It definitely won't be to everyone's taste, but if you like odd comedy that is stuffed to the gills with unexpected and delightful cameos, this is one of the best ways you could spend 45 minutes of your day. 

The Joy of Reading Romance Novels

Two months ago, the beloved Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast featured an episode entitled The Romance Novel Special.  Featuring host Linda Holmes, and guest panelists Petra Mayer, Barry Hardymon, and Sarah Wendell of the Smart Bitches, Trashy Books blog, this was a rather illuminating show about the current state of romance literature and why it is such a popular genre. One of the recommended books was A Bollywood Affair by Sonali Dev, and I decided to try it out. And hence began a romance binge read that has yet to stop.

I adored A Bollywood Affair, and after finishing it, I found Sarah Wendell on Twitter and begged her for recommendations. If you are a romance novice like I am, this might be the most important thing you could ever do to get started. Tweet at Sarah (her Twitter handle is @SmartBitches) and detail the kind of books you like. Not romance novels, just any literature that takes your fancy. And with that simple information, she will instantly suggest a slew of romance books and authors for you that will hone in on your pleasure centers with frightening accuracy. To me, she suggested Something About You by Julie James (and the rest of the books in that series), as well as The Unexpected Consequences of Love by Jill Mansell. Both recommendations proved to be revelatory and I have so far devoured two books by Mansell, three by James, and have no intention of stopping. 

Before I left for vacation, NPR Books came out with an incredibly well-timed article featuring 100 romance recommendations. I had yet to enter the world of regency romances, but considering I have several friends who enjoy them, and one of the most established authors of the genre, Lisa Kleypas, is a fellow Wellesley alumna, I decided to try out some of the regency romances on NPR's list. Before I knew it, I had gotten through A Lady Awakened by Cecilia Grant, The Lady's Tutor by Robin Schone, and Secrets of a Summer Night and Mine Till Midnight by Lisa Kleypas. And the beauty of the romance genre is that these books are all part of a series, so I still have a long list of books I can wade through before I need to seek Sarah out again for more recommendations.

Romance readers get a lot of questionable glances when they make their preferences known, and I certainly was a complete literary snob. However, listening to the PCHH podcast made me realize that just as I watch superhero movies for escapism, reading romance can serve the same purpose. And there's a huge difference between poorly written romance and genuinely well-crafted novels. The novels I've mentioned in this post are far from being your stereotypical bodice-ripping tale featuring heroines with no agency and rakish men with no morals. They are all well-plotted stories, sometimes funny, sometimes bittersweet, that feature intelligent, multi-faceted characters. And at the end of the day, you're guaranteed a happy ending, which is something that matters a great deal when you're looking to get away from the stresses of daily life. 

So if you're a snobby reader, broaden your horizons and give romance a try. You can get recommendations from NPR, Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, or a recommendation from Sarah Wendell herself that is tailored to your exacting specifications. Romance features every genre under the sun so you are bound to find something that's in your wheelhouse. And once you start, you just won't be able to stop.