The Farewell: The Immigrant Identity (Or Lack Thereof)

Many of us have been debating about immigrants this week and reading several racist tweets about what it means to be an American. If you're drowning in social media agita and would rather take a break by immersing yourself in a poignant and funny story about the true immigrant experience, you could do no better than to run to the theater to watch The Farewell.

The movie centers around Billi (Awkwafina, who seems guaranteed to get some awards love this year) a Chinese-American woman from New York who goes back to her hometown of Changchun, China, to see her grandmother (known as "Nai Nai") under the pretense of attending a family wedding. Nai Nai has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, but in traditional Chinese fashion, she had been told that everything's fine. Instead the family will carry the emotional burden of her diagnosis, allowing her to enjoy her last few months of life. For Billi, this seems like a bizarre and unfair thing to do, but her family insists she keep up the charade, saying that this is how things are done in the East and she cannot mess up the plan with her Western notions. Instead, they are planning a shotgun wedding for her cousin Hao Hao and his Japanese girlfriend, so that the family can all gather and see Nai Nai without her realizing that this is all part of an emotional farewell tour. 

This movie might sound sad, but all these machinations to hide the truth from Nai Nai and go along with the audacious plan are hilarious and this movie is a riotous comedy for much of its running time. I saw it with my friend Laura, who spent the latter half of the movie sobbing, so be forewarned, but you'll be laughing through your tears too. It is a rich portrait of what it means to be an immigrant and not quite belonging to the place where you were born or your adopted homeland. Billi is too American to her Chinese family, but will always be considered Chinese by her American friends, and carving out an identity for herself is a slow and confusing process that all immigrants can relate to. Every single character in this film is beautifully realized, with a rich inner life and specific conflicts of their own that they must deal with during this trip. Billi's father (played by the always lovely Tzi Ma) is grieving over the impending loss of his mother and his guilt that he hasn't been able to take care of her himself. Her mother (Diana Lin, in a wonderful performance) is being a dutiful daughter-in-law but has also had a contentious relationship with Nai Nai in the past and struggles to know how to best express her emotions unlike her American daughter who seems to demand everyone wear their heart on their sleeve.

The movie is brimming with very specific observations about the immigrant experience and particularly the Asian-American experience. Asians in film are often portrayed as stoic and affectless, so it is wonderful to watch the entire cast express every emotion under the sun and deal with grief in a manner that is both traditionally Chinese and utterly universal at the same time. And Zhao Shuzhen, who plays Nai Nai, might be the best thing about this movie. I don't care what race or ethnicity you are - she will immediately make you think of your own grandma and you will feel warm and fuzzy every time you see her on screen. Her first words when she sees Billi are about how she's not as thin as she was led to believe and then she spends the entire movie trying to feed Billi various items at every meal. I can certainly relate.

The Farewell is based on the director Lulu Wang's actual experience with her own grandmother, and was shot in her hometown - her great-aunt (Lu Hong) even plays Billi's great aunt in the movie and has a wonderful moment where we get to learn more about some of her thwarted ambitions. As such, there's no surprise that it is so precisely observed and rich in detail. It is a glorious movie that has already met with much critical acclaim and is sure to garner massive awards buzz. But more importantly, in this day and age, when people are so quick to vilify immigrants as the "other," this movie achieves the impossible. It introduces you to an entire family that is nothing like yours, and yet incredibly, completely like yours. Yes, immigrants may not always look like you and speak the same language. But guess what. They still grieve when their grandmothers are ill, bicker around the table at a large family dinner, worry about money, and repress their feelings until it all comes bursting out at inopportune moments. Turns out they're just human beings too.