December Movies Part 5: Anyone but You, Migration, Ferrari, Kho Gaye Hum Kahan

Alright, it's time for a buffet of movie reviews to close out 2023. Do you want a raunchy romcom, an animated movie about some birds, a biopic about a man who made some cars, or a Bollywood drama about social media? Well, keep reading!

Anyone but You: I wasn't going to watch this movie. But then I discovered it was directed by Will Gluck (who also co-wrote the screenplay with Ilana Wolpert), and my interest was piqued. He directed the phenomenal Easy A, so I figured maybe this movie wouldn't be terrible. And oh man. It was splendid! Starring Sydney Sweeny and Glen Powell (two wildly attractive yet also thankfully personable actors) as Bea and Ben, this is a story of two people who had a disastrous one-night stand but now have to reunite at the wedding of Bea's sister and Ben's childhood best friend...in Australia. They hate each other, but they don't want to ruin the wedding weekend, so they decide they need to put up a front. Obviously, things don't go smoothly.

It's very tropey, but it's a classic, and the script has just the right amount of sizzle to make this a very R-rated comedy. Also, please note the couple's names: Bea and Ben. This entire movie is an ode to Beatrice and Benedict from Much Ado About Nothing, with references to the play sprinkled throughout the film as delightful nerdy Shakespearean Easter eggs. The tone is always light and breezy but also carries a great deal of heart, and the supporting cast are quite wonderful and unexpected and keep things moving along. If you've been pining for a classic romcom, your prayers have been answered. Get thee to this movie!

Migration: Do you want something more PG-rated? Then this might be the film for you. Written by Mike White (creator of The White Lotus, but don't expect any sexy shenanigans or murder here) and directed by Benjamin Renner, this is a charming movie about a family of mallard ducks that decide to migrate to Jamaica for the winter. They are led by patriarch, Mack (voiced brilliantly by Kumail Nanjiani), who is very anxious about leaving the comfortable pond they have always lived in. But he wants to please his wife, Pam (the equally brilliant Elizabeth Banks), who is longing for adventure, so they embark on this journey with their kids Dax and Gwen (Caspar Jennings and Traci Gazal) and Mack's grumpy uncle Dan (Danny DeVito). 

Unfortunately, they get a little lost, and instead of ending up in the Caribbean, they find themselves in the wilds of New York City. Here they befriend a pigeon (natch) named Chump, voice by Awkwafina, and many adventures ensue, some of which involve a very evil chef who wants to turn them all into dinner. It's a fun, diverting, entertaining movie, and the ideal treat if you're a New Yorker who loves seeing the city in animated form.

Ferrari: Written by Tory Kennedy Martin and directed by Michael Mann, I like to think of this movie as House of Gucci: The Sequel. Which is slightly unfair because it's not an awful movie. But because you can't even laugh at it, you're just left spending two rather dull hours watching non-Italian actors do their best Italian accents and deal with the dramatic fallout of mixing business with pleasure. 

Adam Driver plays the titular Enzo Ferrari, and we follow his strained relationship with his wife, Laura (Penelope Cruz), with whom he founded his company. It's 1957, they are having financial difficulties, their son Dino just died last year at the age of 24, and oh, Enzo has been having an affair since World War II with another woman, Lina (Shailene Woodley), with whom he has a son. So you know, typical Italian stuff. On top of this, we have lots of car racing, lots of drama with Ferrari's drivers, and the high stakes of the upcoming Mille Miglia race throughout Italy. This is a film about a man who is desperately trying to maintain control as every aspect of his life is evading that control, and I don't know. I didn't find it particularly compelling, I thought the actors were fine but only serviceable, and overall, it left me cold. But maybe if you're a huge fan of Ferrari and his legacy, this is exactly what you've been looking for? Your mileage may vary. Pun intended.

Kho Gaye Hum Kahan: Directed by Arjun Varain Singh (who also co-wrote the screenplay with Yash Sahai and my girls Zoya Akhtar and Reema Kagti), this is a vibey and solid Bollywood Netflix movie about the trials and tribulations of our modern age and everyone's smartphone addiction. We follow a trio of friends from boarding school: Imaad (Siddhanth Chaturvedi), who is a stand-up comedian and is a commitment-phobe who is constantly going on Tinder dates with women he will never meet a second time; Ahana (Ananya Pandey), who thought she was in a solid relationship with her boyfriend of two years, but is now floundering after he has unexpectedly asked her for a break; and Neil (Adarsh Gourav), a personal trainer who still lives at home with his parents but is desperate to build a business, get some celebrity clients, make a lot of money and live his best life. 

These are three well-rounded characters and as the film progresses, each gets a robust storyline that centers on how their constant reliance on their phones and the need to compare themselves to what they see on their Instagram feeds is fueling immense amounts of loneliness and insecurity. There's nothing revelatory in this movie, but it is well-told and hits very close to home, particularly when assessing the horrors of the modern dating landscape. This movie can get intense at times, but overall, you can let it wash over you and bask in its moody Mumbai vibe. In that way, it's just like doomscrolling through your phone.

December Movies Part 4: Anatomy of a Fall & American Fiction

Seeking some quality cinematic fare that's bound to get some awards love? Well then I highly recommend a tense courtroom drama/thriller that is partly in French, and a brilliant comedy about a Black writer who decides to write "a Black book". That's what we call range!

Anatomy of a Fall: Directed by Justine Triet (who also co-wrote the screenplay with Arthur Harari), this movie won the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival (Triet is only the third female director to win this award). It stars Sandra Huller as Sandra Voyter, a German author who lives in a remote house in France with her French husband, Samuel (Samuel Theis) and blind son, Daniel (Milo Machado Graner). The movie opens with Samuel's dead body outside on the snow, which Daniel discovers when he is returning from a walk. What then follows is an impeccable mystery and courtroom drama where we try to figure out the circumstances of this death and whether our heroine is a murderer.

This movie is simply brilliant. There's a crucial language component to it - a lot of this film is in English, because Sandra's French is not that good and she will speak English to her son or her lawyer, or eventually in court when the questioning is too complicated for her to have to deal with in French. It's fascinating to see how things sometimes get lost in translation - I'm sure there were numerous other examples, but I found it weirdly telling that at one point during questioning, Sandra replies (in English) that a particular passage in one of her books was 20 pages long, and the prosecuting lawyer says (in French), 27. It's not a material error, but still conveys how dangerous this woman's position is, going to trial in a country where she doesn't speak the language with ease and could easily have her words misinterpreted.

The real star though is Milo Machado Graner, who plays her young son, Daniel. He is precocious and wise, wears all his emotions on his face, and despite the extreme trauma of the events that are transpiring, does some significant detective work to help us reach a satisfying conclusion. It's an absolutely gripping movie, unfolding mostly in a courtroom, with increasingly tawdry revelations and red herrings. I was glued to the screen and I'm willing to bet you will be too.

American Fiction: What an incredible movie. Based on the novel Erasure by Percival Everett and directed by Cord Jefferson (who also adapted the screenplay), this might be the funniest movie I watched this year. Funny with a great deal of satirical bite.

Jeffrey Wright plays Thelonius "Monk" Ellison, an English professor who is fed up with his woke white students and fed up with white publishers who won't publish his novels of literary fiction because they aren't "Black enough." As a joke, he sits down and writes a stereotypically Black novel, one full of slang and downtrodden characters, gun violence, clashes with the police and the other tropes that pop culture has taught us to expect from Black characters. He sends this to his agent, who is rightfully appalled, but Monk insists that the novel be sent out to various publishers under a pseudonym. The intention is for the publishers to realize it is a joke and that he is mocking them for their racist taste. But of course, turns out they love the book and want to buy it for substantial sums of money. 

What follows is insane and wonderful and thought-provoking. And utterly hysterical. Monk must now pretend to be the author of this godforsaken book, and the lie keeps building and building upon itself as the book continues to get more acclaim. Along the way, he is also dealing with some family drama, with folks like Sterling K. Brown and Tracee Ellis Ross playing his amazing siblings, as well as dealing with his anger towards another Black author that he deems to be a sellout, played by the wonderful Issa Rae. It's a wild ride, and the ending is particularly sublime. You absolutely MUST watch this film - it is incisive, funny, and moving, an absolutely heartwarming piece of magic that also has deeply cutting things to say about American society. Cord Jefferson miraculously balances the tone of this film with pitch perfect precision and Jeffrey Wright delivers the performance of his career - give them all the awards.

December Movies Part 3: Leave the World Behind & Wonka

OK, you want to go out for a movie and then come back and watch another one on Netflix? I have just the two films you seek.

Wonka: Directed by Paul King (who also gave us the whimsical Paddington movies) from a script he wrote with Simon Farnaby, this is an utterly charming confection of a film that imagines the origins of Willy Wonka and his magical Chocolate Factory. Timothee Chalamet stars as Wonka with a supporting cast that is stacked with incredible actors like Olivia Colman, Hugh Grant, Keegan Michael-Key, Rowan Atkinson, and quite a few of the comic troupe from Ghosts. The British folk are putting on their best panto performances, dialing it up to 100 and cackling with evil glee if they are villains, or helping our hero with eager cheer if they are the good guys - or dancing a silly dance and begrudgingly saving the day if they are an Oompa Loompa, like Hugh Grant. 

I had no idea this movie was a musical, so from the opening bars I was hooked by its splendor and silliness and impeccable production design. I also left the theater in dire need of some chocolate. I won't give away any plot because you need to just let the theatrical hiijnks unfold in front of your eyes, but you would have to have a heart of stone to not end up with a big grin on your face. It's a frothy, fun film that is perfect for the holidays and should be added to your watchlist immediately. 

Leave the World Behind: Knowing that this movie was coming out on Netflix, I sought a copy of the novel by Rumaan Alam from my local library and devoured it in a few days. I really enjoyed the novel, but also couldn't quite fathom how someone could turn it into a good movie. Well writer-director Sam Esmail has tried to adapt it, and the result is...middling.

Julia Roberts and Ethan Hawke do a fine job playing Clay and Amanda, a couple from Brooklyn who rent a Long Island vacation home with their two younger children, Rose and Archie (Farrah Mackenzie and Charlie Evans). But then as weird things start to happen, the family have to let in George (the wonderful Mahershala Ali) who owns the house, along with his daughter, Ruth (Myha'la). As the film progresses, it becomes increasingly clear that something is very wrong in the world, and we might be on the brink of an apocalypse. Yeah, I know, it's a lot to deal with.

Esmail has a great visual style and there are some jaw dropping set pieces in this movie that are appropriately shocking and creepy and manage to convey the goosebumps that this book gives you as you read it because everything starts out so ordinarily but then devolves in utterly incomprehensible ways. However, I really did not appreciate the major change he made from the book, i.e. turning the character Ruth into George's daughter, instead of his wife. In the book, the two are an older married Black couple, and they have an interesting dynamic with Amanda and Clay who are liberal white folk. Instead, by turning Ruth into George's daughter, Esmail unnecessarily sexualizes the character, making her an object of lust for the teenage son, Archie. It is nice to have a young Black woman who doesn't mind calling Amanda out directly on her racist bullshit, but you could have just as easily done that with an older woman. Also, Amanda is written as a complete misanthrope, while in the book she's just a career woman trying to take a break and get some quality family time. Esmail did such a great job writing the male characters (Hawke is particularly excellent at conveying Clay's abject uselessness in this state of affairs) but then, like too many male directors are wont to do, he reduced the women to absolute caricatures.

I certainly did not hate this movie, and if you're the type of person who can't be bothered to read, you will probably still get a good sense of what the novel was like if you watch this film. Despite all my quibbles about Esmail's script, I was charmed by the final scene of the movie, for very particular reasons. To me it did end up capturing the essence of the novel (be warned, it's an ambiguous ending), and was an audacious way to end after all the creeping dread of the preceding two hours.

December Movies Part 2: The Archies, Family Switch, Mr. Monk's Last Case

It's cold, it's rainy, why bother going out? Stay indoors and check out some streaming movies! Whether you're looking for some Christmas, Bollywood, or murder comedy, I've got something for everyone.

The Archies: All I knew about this film was that it was directed by Zoya Akhtar and was based on Archie comics. Zoya is my favorite Indian director and I devoured Archie comics as a kid so this film was supposed to be a slam dunk, right? Unfortunately, I did not realize that a bunch of nepo babies had been cast in the lead roles: Archie is played by Amitabh Bachchan’s grandson, Agastya Nanda, Veronica is Shahrkuh Khan's daughter, Suhana, and Betty is Sridevi’s daughter, Khushi Kapoor, who, to be fair, is the only one I actually liked in the film). Rounding out the cast we have Mihir Ahuja, Vedang Raina, and Aditi "Dot" Saigal as Jughead, Reggie, and Ethel. But the supporting cast is largely superfluous because of course the main story is about the love triangle and Archie messing around with Betty and Veronica. Dude would have really loved dating in 2023 and all the ethical non-monogamy. 

Interestingly, the movie is set in the 1960s, in an Anglo-Indian community in India called Riverdale that was established by a British general who loved the country and decided to stay after Independence instead of going back to London. The production design and costumes are gorgeous and this is a wonderful movie to look at. There is also a song almost every minute, which is excessive even by Bollywood standards, but that soundtrack is ridiculously infectious and my fiancé still keeps humming, “Archie, Archie, everything is politics!” weeks after we finished watching the film. But the script is rather basic and the acting performances from these newbies do nothing to elevate the material. This movie is certainly a charming way to while away an afternoon, but don’t expect anything revelatory.

Family Switch: Written by Victoria Strouse and Adam Szytkiel, and directed by McG, this was my first Christmas movie of the year. Ed Helms and Jennifer Garner star as Bill and Jess, two loving parents who are trying to manage their angsty teenage kids, CC and Wyatt (Emma Myers and Brady Noon), along with their new baby and dog. When the family go to an observatory to take a holiday photo, they all get into a fight, with the son accusing his father of knowing nothing about his interests, the mother and daughter bickering about how neither one understands the other, etc. You know, standard family drama. But, of course, when they wake up the next morning, they discover they have all switched bodies - the father is now in the son’s body and vice versa, and ditto for mother and daughter. And then shenanigans ensue.

We’ve all seen many movies like this. You’ll probably be able to predict every beat from start to finish. But it’s a Christmas movie and we don’t watch those for surprises and unpredictability! We watch them for silliness and jollity! This movie is dumb and will not be entering my list of movies I rewatch every year. But did I regret watching it this year? Not for a single instant. Ho ho ho!

Mr. Monk’s Last Case: I have not seen an episode of Monk or thought about this show for more than a decade. But back when it was airing on USA, my parents and I would sit down and religiously watch it every Friday night (yeah, I was a wild and crazy youth). So, imagine my surprise when I got an email from Peacock telling me that they were now streaming a Monk movie about what happens when Adrian Monk (the always wonderful Tony Shalhoub) has to help his stepdaughter whose fiancé dies in a bungee jumping accident on the day before her wedding. Could it be - gasp - murder?!

Obviously, it IS murder and for 90 minutes we get a diverting mystery involving a Bezos-esque corrupt tech billionaire and some familiar faces from the old show. This is all taking place post-pandemic so there are some fun jokes about how everyone is now sanitizing their hands and behaving like Monk, but as you can imagine, the pandemic was an absolute disaster for his mental health. In fact, there’s a rather dark thread throughout this film about Monk’s state of mind and it definitely didn’t jibe with the comic tone of the rest of the proceedings. But ultimately, this was a good nostalgia watch - I don’t think it will mean anything to people who never watched the show, though the mystery was quite fun to follow, but if you did regularly watch Monk in the olden days, this might scratch an itch you never even knew you had.

Documentary Binges: Beckham & The Super Models

Do you want to watch something more substantial than a movie but less time-consuming than an entire season of a TV show? Well, might I recommend two riveting celebrity documentaries that shine the spotlight on some people who have already been in the spotlight for their entire lives.

Beckham: Directed by Fisher Stevens (you might recognize him as Hugo from Succession and have to adjust your brain to the idea that he is also an Oscar-winning documentarian!), this is a brilliant biography of David Beckham, the man, the myth, the legend. I have always been aware of Beckham's existence, but mostly because of Bend It Like Beckham, and not because I actually ever watched him play football. And of course, to me he mostly existed as Posh Spice's husband. 

But in this series, we get four hours that chronicle his childhood, with a father who molded him to become a footballing machine; his relationship and marriage to Victoria; the absolutely vitriolic treatment he received from the British press and the British public when he was unfairly blamed for England losing the World Cup; and the many ways in which his career kept morphing. This is a man with a singular dedication to his sport, and he almost refuses to say a bad word about anyone or even acknowledge his own mental health struggles in pursuit of this blinding ambition. 

My favorite part of this documentary is how we get to watch players watch themselves in important matches. It's one thing to see them just chatting about their lives. But the minute Fisher Stevens turns on a match and then the camera focuses on their faces, it's like their eyes get extra-focused and steely and this smile blossoms on their faces, and that's it. This is who they are, and they seem to remember every match like they just walked off the pitch. It is also gloriously entertaining to hear Victoria's Beckham's side of the story, and the many indignities she had to face as a footballer's wife. Sure, she might have been Posh Spice, but once she had some kids, her main concern was, "how am I going to keep these kids in school?!" While the documentary briefly addresses rumors of infidelity (with nothing actually being admitted, because that's what happens when your documentary subject is also serving as the producer), this is ultimately a story about a couple that fell in love when they were super young and exposed to startling levels of worldwide fame, who have now built a life together that seems to have worked out well. It's a delightful biography, compellingly told, and now I finally understand what all the fuss was about.

The Super Models: Directed by Roger Ross Williams and Larissa Bills, this is an excellent documentary about Linda Evangelista, Naomi Campbell, Christy Turlington, and Cindy Crawford, four women who became models in the 80s, and then became so famous that they officially became supermodels. As someone who is not remotely into fashion, I knew these names, of course, but nothing else about these women, so for four hours I was spellbound by their stories.

Each of these four women has a unique history, and the first episode is all about their family backgrounds and how they made it into the business. It was astonishing how naive their parents were, sending out these teenage girls into auditions and then global international campaigns with absolutely no supervision. The women talk about the different modelling agencies at the time, some of which treated the girls like family and ensured they had strict rules to follow so they didn't get in trouble, while others were lax and treated these girls simply as the means to making a boatload of money. Sadly, there are of course some tales of abuse, and we also see some rather horrifying talk show interviews, where the women are asked about their weight, and simply treated as pretty objects to throw a dress onto, with no thoughts or ideas of their own. It's also incredible how they describe the current state of modelling versus what they were doing in the 80s and 90s - they didn't have the ease of Photoshop and digital cameras, so they had to work diligently with their photographers to come up with these iconic photos with no touch-ups or special effects.

It's a compelling and wonderful series that highlights the glamor and grittiness of the profession, and it is fascinating to see how all four women had very different career trajectories and ideas about how they wanted to live their post-supermodel lives. Throughout, there is a wonderful thread of sisterhood and support, a reminder that the true key to a woman's success is to have other women championing her along the way. It's amazing to see these women brought back together in this documentary and note how their friendship has endured and how easily they fall back into the old rhythms as they pose for a photoshoot when they're now in their 50s. Turns out these models are still pretty super.

Literary Binges: The Other Black Girl & Lessons in Chemistry

I recently caught up on two adaptations of books I absolutely loved. I exhort you to actually read these books, but if you can't be bothered, these eight-episode adaptations have done a pretty great job of bring the world of these novels to life on the small screen.

The Other Black Girl: Based on the novel by Zakiyah Delilah Harris, who serves as co-creator of this show with the formidable Rashida Jones, this is an incisive and surprisingly hilarious thriller about a Black woman trying to make it in the very white world of publishing. Sinclair Daniel stars as Nella, a Black woman who works at Wagner Books as an editorial assistant and is keen to become an editor. When a new editorial assistant, Hazel (Ashleigh Murray), joins the firm, Nella is excited that she will finally have one other Black colleague. 

However, things start to take a disquieting turn - Hazel seems to be very supportive of the sisterhood, but then also quietly undermines Nella at key moments, and things just feel a little bit off. And then a mysterious stranger approaches Nella and tells her to watch out for Hazel. Which leads to a whole investigation of who this woman is and how exactly her story is intertwined with that of a Black author from the 80s who served as Nella's inspiration for getting into this business in the first place.

This is a fantastic adaptation that captures the essence of the novel in every scene and walks that tightrope between horror and hilarity with every step. The book was like a literary answer to Get Out, and the TV adaptation is a worthy successor to that film, fully capturing the many facets of the Black experience, and how a person can be too Black for the white world, but then not Black enough for the Black world. The story takes some wild and outrageous twists, but you just have to hang on for dear life and go on this ride. It is funny, it is ridiculous, it is sublime. 

Lessons in Chemistry: Based on the novel by Bonnie Garmus, this adaptation was created by Lee Eisenberg and stars Brie Larson as Elizabeth Zott, a female chemist in the 1950s who faces misogyny at every step in her career but then finds an unexpected partnership and romance with fellow chemist, Calvin Evans (Lewis Pullman). 

Of course, the course of true love never did run smooth, and the film is mostly focused on what happens with Elizabeth and her daughter Mad (people mistakenly think that stands for Madeline, but it's just Mad) as they try to build a life for themselves and also learn more about Calvin's origins. While a lot of this show is about Elizabeth's struggles in the scientific community, there's also the crossover when she becomes the host of a popular cooking show, that turns into a feminist rallying cry for women all over the country who have stifled dreams and ambitions.

This is a decent adaptation and is certainly well-acted, with impeccable production design and costumes that beautifully capture that 50s aesthetic. But the show also inserts additional plotlines that weren't in the original novel and takes away other elements, so your mileage may vary if you were a big fan of the book. I can certainly understand why they made these changes and the show stands well on its own, but I did feel like it paled a little bit in comparison to the novel. It's still a wonderful story though, and if television is your preferred medium for storytelling, this is certainly a delicious story to treat yourself to for eight hours. 

December Movies Part 1: The Killer, May December, Dream Scenario

It’s time to kick off the month with a collection of oddball films that are all a little bit strange and a little bit intriguing. I can’t say any of them were my favorite movie of the year, but each one was thought-provoking in its bizarre little way.

The Killer: Directed by David Fincher and written by Andrew Kevin Walker, based on a French graphic novel series by Alexis Nolent and Luc Jacamon, the film stars Michael Fassbender as the eponymous killer. He is an elite assassin for hire, and we are treated to his interior monologue on how to do this job ruthlessly and efficiently. It is important to be cool, calm, and calculating, without an ounce of empathy or human feeling that could get in the way of this very dispassionate job. However, the movie opens with a botched assassination, and what follows is a twisty thriller that is gory but also kind of funny, where we are following this very self-serious man who has such confidence in his ability to get every little detail right…except now all those details are going wrong. I’m not sure I ever got fully invested in what was happening in this movie (the fact that I watched on Netflix meant that it was also a fairly distracted viewing), but this is probably a good lazy afternoon movie, something to get the blood pumping, with a few unexpected chuckles. It might be too dark and bloody for some folk, but if you like a stylish action thriller and wish Fassbender did more movies, this should be right up your alley.

May December: Written by Samy Burch and directed by Todd Haynes, this is a story about a woman named Gracie (Julianne Moore) who slept with her 13-year-old student, Joe, was arrested, gave birth to his child in prison, and then subsequently married him years later when she got out of prison and he was old enough to consent to this (the adult Joe is played wonderfully by Charles Melton). Now, a movie is being made of her story and a famous actress named Elizabeth (Natalie Portman) comes into town to shadow Gracie and interview her friends and family about her life and the impact to her community. But what follows is an extreme and weirdly campy story about an actress who goes way too method, an emotionally disturbed woman who still has no sense that she did anything wrong, and a man who is coming to grips with the fact that maybe his relationship is a little bit screwed up and he missed out on his entire childhood. 

I honestly don’t know what tone this movie is going for. It’s mostly a bit dark and icky, but the score is kind of absurd and feels like you’re in a heightened soap opera. Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore are turned up to 100, while everyone around them is muted and more in touch with reality. Ultimately, I came away feeling the most sympathy for Joe, and Charles Melton's performance, especially in the final scenes, was startlingly moving. I ended up doing a deep dive into the real-life Mary Kay Letourneau case that this whole movie is loosely based on, and was shocked how so many of the details were identical. It’s a disturbing tale, disturbingly told, so…bravo?

Dream Scenario: Written and directed by Kristoffer Borgli, this is a very weird, funny, and sad movie about what happens when an ordinary man named Paul (Nicolas Cage, in yet another odd but remarkable role) randomly starts showing up in the dreams of people all around the world. In these dreams he is usually just walking by, being extremely passive, not doing a thing. At first this is an oddity, but as more people start to realize they have seen him in their dreams, he goes viral. And he, being a bit of a loser who has always aspired to greatness, mistakenly thinks that he will be able to leverage this fame in a way that will serve him. But of course, that is not how the world, and social media, work, and he soon finds himself stirring up a maelstrom. 

This movie goes all over the place but it is a tight 100 minutes that is thought-provoking and entertaining. Some of the dream sequences can start to feel like a horror movie, so be prepared for some nightmares, but overall, Cage’s central performance keeps this film on firm ground. You feel for this shlub who got carried away by the promise of Internet fame, and the films proceeds relentlessly, adding in numerous twists to his predicament and making a larger commentary on influencer culture and our capitalist world. It is very funny but also tinged with plenty of melancholy. Isn't that exactly the mood you want for a December film?

November Highlights Part 4: Priscilla & Saltburn

Is it that time of year when you're jonesing to watch some movies written AND directed by women? Or do you just want to stare at Jacob Elordi for a few hours? Well, here are two movies from our best female filmmakers that feature intriguing supporting performances from Jacob Elordi!

Priscilla: Written and directed by Sofia Coppola, this is a beautiful and sweeping story of Priscilla Beaulieu, the woman who would meet and marry and eventually divorce Elvis Presley. Played with heartbreaking innocence by Cailee Spaeny (an Oscar nomination seems inevitable), we begin the movie with the fourteen-year-old (!) Priscilla, who has moved with her family to Germany, where her father is stationed at a US military base. She is lonely and homesick, and for some godforsaken reason, after meeting her at a party, the 24-year-old Elvis (played by Jacob Elordi), sets his sights on dating her. 

Prsicilla's parents are weirded out by this, but what is weirder is that they still allow it, which is how you know they are American, because what Indian parent would ever allow this kind of nonsense (they might sanction a child marriage, of course, but not child dating!). The entire film unspools like a guide to grooming a teenage girl, but the pedophile in question is Elvis Presley and everyone around him seems totally fine with arranging things so Priscilla can stay over at Graceland and be with him while he continues to have affairs and break her heart.

This movie is mostly melancholy vibes with incredible costumes, makeup, and hairstyles. After all the bombast of last year's Elvis, it's nice to get a film from a woman's perspective of this famous man, and surprise, surprise, like many famous men, he had oodles of talent and treated women like accessories. You spend this entire movie watching Priscilla fight to be with this man and wanting to go "oh sweetie, no." And then you watch the inevitable realization dawn on her that this was a bad decision. It's a tale as old as time, but in the hands of Sofia Coppola, it's a tale that's still beautifully and compassionately told. 

Saltburn: Written and directed by Emerald Fennell, this is yet another glorious confection for your eyeballs. If you loved Promising Young Woman (and who didn't?), this candy-colored aesthetic is going to feel familiar, but Fennell has now moved the action to her home turf of rich and ridiculous British people. And oh, is it divine. 

The movie follows Oliver Quick (the incredible Barry Keoghan, in a performance that ought to get some awards attention this year), a young scholarship student at Oxford University in 2006. He is lonely and ignored but when he somehow befriends Felix (Jacob Elordi, playing a VERY different character from Elvis), a rich kid who seems to have a penchant for picking up strays, what follows is a very intense and volatile friendship. Eventually, Ollie is invited to stay with Felix at his family estate of Saltburn for the summer. What follows is a hedonistic and wild visit that is going to lead to some terrible revelations and some incredibly caustic humor about Felix and his family. Rosamund Pike and Richard E. Grant play Felix's parents, and let's just say they capture British aristocratic daffiness and repression to absolute perfection. 

The soundtrack is wonderful, the acting is brilliant, and the screenplay veers wildly into every genre, managing to be both horrifyingly funny, thrilling, and macabre. It is a mind-bending marvel that will keep you glued to the screen for two hours and you will definitely hear some gasps in the audience as some twists and turns come flying out at you. It's everything you want from a movie, and more, so don't delay. Take a trip to Saltburn immediately. 

November Highlights Part 3: Wish, Napoleon, The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes

The studios decided to release a slew of blockbusters for the Thanksgiving weekend and I have watched them all. What follows are reviews of three films, two of which are two and half hours long, and one of which is 90 minutes. No points for guessing which one gets my least tepid recommendation.

Wish: Written by Jennifer Lee and Allison Moore and directed by Chris Buck and Fawn Veerasunthorn, this is Disney's latest effort in giving us a strong female character who isn't motivated by a love interest but is capable of getting shit done by herself (but also with the help of family, friends, a goat, and a star). Our heroine is 17-year-old Asha (voiced by Ariana DeBose) and she lives in the magical realm of Rosas that is ruled by a supposedly benevolent sorcerer named King Magnifico (deliciously voiced by Chris Pine). He is the protector of all the citizen's wishes - these are their most heartfelt desires, and at the age of eighteen, they hand their wish over to Magnifico to relieve themselves of the burden of carrying this wish in their hearts. In return, Magnifico will periodically hold a Wish Ceremony where he will grant one citizen's wish.

Asha applies to be the King's apprentice, but during the interview, she quickly realizes that maybe he isn't quite the benevolent ruler she believed him to be. When he refuses to grant the wish of her 100-year-old grandfather, she sets off a radical chain of events that leads to a lot of magic, revolution, and everyone in Rosas discovering the importance of having a life's purpose. It's a sweet film, the animation is quite lovely, and the cute side characters (including a goat voiced by Alan Tudyk and a very adorable wishing star) are peak Disney magic. I definitely did NOT like the songs though - the lyrics created a syncopated rhythm that rubbed me the wrong way, but maybe after repeated listening I'll get on board (that has already happened to me when it comes to the main song, just not the other ones). Overall, it's a solid effort, and Asha is a great addition to the stable of Disney princesses. So if you want some light holiday fare this weekend, this movie might fulfill your wish.

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes: Directed by Francis Lawrence, from a screenplay by Michael Lesslie and Michael Arndt adapted from Suzanne Collins' novel, this is a prequel to The Hunger Games trilogy that gives us the background of Coriolanus Snow, the man who would eventually become the brutal President of Panem. In this story, Coriolanus (Tom Blyth) is an 18-year-old student at the Academy. He is a Capitol citizen, but his family has fallen on hard times after the death of his father, and they are barely scraping by. Coriolanus is determined to win the Plinth Prize scholarship to alleviate his family's financial woes, but in a twist, it turns out the Prize will be awarded to the student who serves as the best mentor in the 10th annual Hunger Games. Coriolanus's mentee is Lucy Gray Baird (Rachel Ziegler) from District 12 and as he tries to gain her trust and help her survive in the Hunger Games, a dangerous love story unfolds.

Listen, you don't need me to spoil the rest of the story, you already know that Coriolanus turns out to be a ruthless tyrant. But this is his origin story, highlighting the many choices he could have made and how he finally succumbed to ruthless ambition instead of his heart. The movie is well done but could have done with more judicious editing. It also turns into a bit of a musical, because Lucy Gray is a singer and she sings way too much in this film (probably in a bid to replicate Jennifer Lawrence's success on music charts when she sang The Hanging Tree in the previous movies). The best character is the film, however, is Lucky Flickerman (played to perfection by Jason Schwartzman), the first TV host of the Hunger Games. The events of the Games are horrific, but his ability to recap them with a bizarrely comic insouciance is incredible. I still can't think of him referring to one of the contestants as "ill Dill" without giggling. So yes, if you're a fan of the franchise, this might be worth a trip to the theater. But if you've never watched The Hunger Games before, skip this one. It is definitely not a feel-good holiday film. 

Napoleon: Written by David Scarpa and directed by Ridley Scott, this is the story of Napoleon's ascent to power, his marriage to Josephine, and eventual descent. When I got out of this movie, all I had to say was, "This is making me question whether Ridley Scott ever made good movies - what with House of Gucci, and now this film, I don't know why we ever thought the man was a good filmmaker." So yeah, it's a pretty brutal two and a half hours at the movies. I nearly cheered when we were finally introduced to the Duke of Wellington because I knew that meant the Battle of Waterloo was imminent and Napoleon's fall from grace was nigh. But it still took another forty minutes for the movie to wrap up from there.

This is a movie with many battle set pieces that are beautifully choreographed but oh so repetitive after a while. After all, there's a limit to how many horses and men I need to see slaughtered by cannonball. Also, like with most Scott movies, there's a baffling lack of attention to accents that is so distracting - every actor gets to choose how they talk, so despite everyone purportedly being French, we have Joaquin Phoenix playing Napoleon with an American accent, while Josephine (Vanessa Kirby) and most of his advisors are British. The "love" story is dumb and useless, and basically what you expect when men are in charge of a film and want to throw a bunch of incoherent sex scenes into a film to liven up proceedings. Also, weirdly, the score from Pride & Prejudice would play when Josephine and Napoleon had scenes together, and that is the greatest indignity of all, because that music is sacred and reserved for Elizabeth and Darcy, goddammit! The entire movie's color scheme is dark and dingy and blue, and overall, it was less of a spectacle and more of a snooze. I had no sense of why Napoleon was doing anything, but all I wanted was for him to get exiled soon so I could leave. To quote Jared Leto from House of Gucci - Boof.

November Highlights Part 2: Quiz Lady & Fingernails

If you don't want to step into a theater and are looking for a streaming binge, perhaps one of these movies is for you. One is a raucous comedy about two sisters trying to make some money off a quiz show, while the other is a speculative romantic drama about a world in which couples can take a test to find out whether or not they are in love. So yeah. It's a broad range.

Quiz Lady: Awkwafina and Sandra Oh play two sisters (what more do you need!), Anne and Jenny, who had a difficult childhood with their tumultuous parents, who eventually got divorced. Jenny left to become an actress, but Anne is the responsible one who stayed behind in the family home while their mother moved to a nursing home. Unfortunately, now their mother has escaped the home and jetted off to Macao with a new boyfriend, leaving behind a mountain of gambling debts that Anne must now pay off. When Jenny arrives to help out with the situation, she puts a plan into motion that eventually culminates in Anne having to consider participating in Can't Stop the Quiz, a quiz show that she has obsessively been watching since she was a child.

Written by Jen D'Angelo and directed by Jessica Yu, this movie features little moments that touch you and big moments that make you chortle. Will Ferrell is fun as the game show's host, a nice nod to his years playing Alex Trebek on Saturday Night Live. Jason Schwartzman also shows up as a smarmy contestant who has amassed a winning streak on the show and that Anne will have to take down. But at the heart of it all is the relationship between these two sisters and the various misunderstandings that have torn them apart. These two actresses do fine work here, and it is genuinely heartwarming to watch their journey. So give it a chance - this is a movie that could surprise you in unexpected ways.

Fingernails: Directed by Christos Nikou, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Stavros Raptis and Sam Steiner, this movie is mostly vibes, based off a tantalizing central premise. As you know, though, I am a plot person, and I do have to say there wasn't enough plot to sustain this film's two-hour runtime. But still, some of the vibes were worth it, given the cast you have assembled here. Jessie Buckley and Jeremy Allen White play Anna and Ryan, a couple that have taken the "test" that proves they are both in love with each other and meant to be together. However, Anna then starts working at the Love Institute, a place that serves as a quick bootcamp for couples where they do exercises designed to strengthen their bond and heighten the love they feel for each other before they take their test. It's clear that Anna feels like her relationship with Ryan needs some work and she tries to surreptitiously trick him into doing some of these love exercises at home with her (he has no idea that this is where she works, which maybe tells you already that this relationship is in trouble). 

But the added wrinkle is that her colleague at the institute is Amir (Riz Ahmed), and of course, the two of them start vibing right away. I won't spoil the story any further (there isn't that much to spoil after all), but let's just say that this is your typical work of speculative fiction, a treatise on free will vs determinism and whether you can really just have a test tell you you're in love and then plan your whole life around that certainty. It's certainly a novel idea, reasonably well executed, but it doesn't...nail the landing, if you will. And if you're wondering why the movie is called Fingernails, it's for reasons I refuse to get into, so that can be the one truly surprising thing you get out of watching this film. 

November Highlights Part 1: The Holdovers & The Marvels

November has started off well in the theaters. This weekend do you want to see a quiet comedy-drama set over Christmas in New England at a nearly empty boys' boarding school? Or do you want to see the latest blockbuster in the Marvel Cinematic Universe that features three incredible female superheroes? Let's be real, it's not a choice, you should do both.

The Holdovers: Written by David Hemingson and directed by Alexander Payne, this movie is an absolute delight. Set in New England in 1970 during the winter break at a boys' prep school, we follow the adventures of the cantankerous Mr. Hunham (Paul Giamatti, who is sublime as a Grinch who does have a heart hidden in there somewhere as we unpeel his backstory), the Ancient Civilizations teacher that none of the boys like but who has agreed to serve as the sole supervisor for any students who aren't going home for the holidays. Initially there's a small group of boys who are "held over" for the break, and none are happy about it, but the least happy is Angus (Dominic Sessa), who thought he was heading to a sunny beach vacay in St. Kitts but gets a call from his mother at the last minute that she is taking a honeymoon with his new stepfather instead and he has to stay back at school. 

Eventually, Angus is the only boy left at the school as the others manage to find other plans, so it's just him, Mr. Hunham, and Mary Lamb (Da'Vine Joy Randolph, in a truly wonderful performance), the school's cafeteria manager. This is a particularly hard Christmas for Mary, because her only son has just died in Vietnam - unlike the other rich kids who ordinarily attend this school, he didn't have the luxury of being able to just head straight to college after graduation. So you have this very odd trio trying to survive Christmas together, while they all feel extremely alone in very different ways. It's a beautiful story, compellingly told, and the ways in which these people find points of commonality and come together over the course of two weeks is truly a Christmas miracle. This is the perfect bittersweet holiday movie, a wonderful character study, and a simple cinematic pleasure that will warm the cockles of your heart on even the most blustery winter day.

The Marvels: Directed by Nia DaCosta who co-wrote the screenplay with Megan McDonnell and Elissa Karasik, this movie is sheer entertainment from start to finish (which is only 105 minutes, the shortest Marvel movie to date). Starring Brie Larson, Teyonah Parris, and Iman Vellani as Captain Marvel, Monica Rambeau (they're workshopping a superhero name), and Ms. Marvel respectively, this is a story about how these three disparate superheroes have their powers entangled, forcing them to become a dream team that have to fight together to help battle some aliens who seem determined to destroy multiple planets. The stakes are high, but the people who wrote this movie were higher. 

There are a LOT of goofy elements in this movie and your mileage may vary when it comes to cats that spew tentacles out of their mouths or a random musical interlude with some aliens who only speak in song. But none of that matters where you look at the central trio and the amazing choreography afoot as they have to learn to work together and use their powers in concert with each other. It's really clever and fun and visually spectacular. And of course, Ms. Marvel's family members also feature prominently throughout the movie, which meant there were lots of random lines in Hindi/Urdu that were not captioned and felt like they were thrown in just as a sly aside to me. Representation matters, people! This is a fun, zippy, entertaining ride on the Marvel train - I didn't remember any of the back story of these characters going into it, but you know what, that didn't matter. Just walk in and surrender to the power of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

October Offerings Part 3: The Persian Version & Dicks: The Musical

From the ridiculous to the sublime - the final two films I saw this month vary widely in tone and gender dynamics, but they are both wonderfully entertaining in their own way. Whether you want to watch two adult men Parent Trap their insane parents, or watch an Iranian-American lesbian learn to appreciate her mother's background, you're going to have a very unique experience at the theater.

Dicks: The Musical: Written by Josh Sharp and Aaron Jackson (who also star in the film), and directed by Larry Charles, this is a supremely silly movie (based off their supremely silly off-Broadway musical) about two very straight white men in New York (they are gay in real life, which is why their attempts at playing straight are called out right away in the opening credits) who are top salesmen for their respective companies. When those companies merge, they are pitted against each other and become bitter rivals. But they look like each other (they don't actually, but they are supposed to be identical twins, so just roll with it OK!) and eventually realize that they were separated at birth. What follows is a ridiculous musical where these two men get to meet their parents, played by the insanely well-cast Megan Mullaly and Nathan Lane, and come up with a plan to bring the two of them back together again.

Listen, your mileage is definitely going to vary with this movie. But it's barely 90 minutes, so even if you hate it, you won't have to endure it for very long. It is extremely bizarre, very New York, and oh, did I mention that Bowen Yang also plays God in it? Like, the literal God. I cannot over-emphasize the silliness. But it's kind of amazing that this movie exists and it is a campy ridiculous good time. And the closing credits feature a lovely blooper reel where Nathan Lane has a moment where he just goes, "I can't believe I'm in this movie." Neither can I, Nathan, neither can I.

The Persian Version: Immigrants, roll on up to see this film, because it will blow you away. It is a very specific story, but tells a very universal tale of growing up in America when your parents have grown up somewhere else and trying to reconcile those two identities. It also offers up a tender portrait of the harsh relationship mothers and daughters can have, that is only resolved when you sit down and think about what exactly your mother's life was like before she moved to America. Written and directed by Maryam Keshavarz, this is a supremely beautiful, funny, and touching movie about women (Muslim women in particular!), and the resilience that is the foundation of any immigrant's journey across the globe.

The cast of this film is particularly wondrous - Layla Mohammadi plays Leila, an Iranian-American filmmaker in Brooklyn who is the ninth child of her family: the only daughter and a lesbian to boot. She and her mother have experienced a significant rift because her mother did not approve of her marriage to another woman, and their differences seem irreconcilable. But as the movie progresses, we watch Leila's journey, and how it eventually parallels her own mother's journey as a young girl in Iran. It's a bittersweet story, told with a great deal of heart and humor, and Niousha Noor's performance as Leila's mother, Shireen (as well as Kamand Shafieisabet's performance as her younger self in Iran), is remarkable. In a particularly profound moment, Shireen, who becomes a realtor, sells a storefront to an Indian immigrant in New Jersey who sets up the first Patel Brothers in the state. She believes in helping out other immigrants and that one moment was all I needed to stop seeing this film as an Iranian movie, and see it as a movie about the melting pot. This is also a beautifully shot film, with many artistic scenes and flourishes that make me very excited to see more of Keshavarz's work. Immigrants, we get the job done!

October Offerings Part 2: Killers of the Flower Moon & Cassandro

Next up in October, I watched one movie that was three and a half hours long and purported to be about Native Americans while really mostly just being about white dudes, and another that was an hour and a half long and focused on the world of Mexican wrestling and a gay man who was trying to break barriers as an "exotico." Both are based on true stories, and no points for guessing which film proved to be far more entertaining and compelling.

Killers of the Flower Moon: Sigh. I watched this movie just to get it over with. And I swear I went in with hope. I wanted this to be the kind of three and a half hour movie that is truly worth it, something where you go into the cinema and come out transformed and awed. But no, halfway through I started looking at the time and wondering why I was still trapped in the theater.

This film is Martin Scorsese's adaptation of David Grann's book of the same name. Set in the 1920s, this is the story of how a number of Osage Native Americans were killed in Oklahoma as part of a plot to get their oil rights. At the time, the Osage Nation was incredibly wealthy following the discovery of oil on their tribal land, but a crime boss named William King Hale (played very effectively by Robert De Niro) came up with a scheme to murder several members of the tribe and inherit their rights via his nephew Ernest (Leonardo DiCaprio, playing a both weaselly and hapless man to excruciatingly good effect) who was married to an Osage woman, Mollie Kyle (Lily Gladstone, a phenomenal actress who unfortunately spends most of this movie weeping as more of her relatives die tragically).

Look, I get that Scorsese thinks he started with a movie that was about two white dudes and he managed to actually incorporate a great deal more about Osage culture and tradition and make it "diverse." But at the end of the day, this is still just a movie about two murderous white dudes and the Native Americans are mostly hapless victims being exploited by colonizers. And yes, that is the history of America in a nutshell, but why not tell this story from Mollie's point of view instead? Also, not for nothing, but I had to do a lot of research to even understand the beginning of this film and how the Osage got all this wealth. Why not spend more time exploring that backstory that is exclusively Native American before we spend an interminable three and half hours with DiCaprio and De Niro bumbling their way through some gruesome murders and courtroom drama? This movie absolutely did not need to be this long - there was not enough plot to sustain it, and it was bloated and self-indulgent. Marty, you tried, but you failed.

Cassandro: Directed by Roger Ross Williams from a script he wrote with David Teague, this is a beautiful movie about the real-life lucha libre Mexican wrestler, Saul Armendariz (played with much heart and warmth by the always reliable Gael Garcia Bernal). In the early 1980s, Saul lived in El Paso, Texas but regularly crossed the border to wrestle as a character named El Topo in lucha libre matches. But after meeting a trainer named Sabrina (the equally amazing Roberta Colindrez), she suggests that he might be more suited to wrestling as an "exotico," a wrestler who performs in drag and incorporates feminine movements and gimmicks as they wrestle. 

Saul is openly gay, and the world of lucha libre is pretty explicitly homophobic, with people routinely yelling out slurs during matches and deriding the exotico wrestlers. Also, Saul's main argument against wrestling as an exotico is that they are never allowed to win. Nonetheless, Sabrina convinces him to give it a try, and thus, the character of Cassandro is born.

You have to watch the film to understand the transformation that takes place. There's some exquisite stunt choreography at play, and at its core, this is a story of how you can only be the most powerful version of yourself when you embrace who you really are. Cassandro brings such a wild and joyful energy to his matches that the crowd is swept away, and before you know it, people aren't screaming the f-word at him, and are rather chanting for him to win the match. This is a great biopic, destined to make you smile, and a reminder of how we always need more positive stories about people who break barriers and make the world see that there's nothing to fear by being different. And it's only an hour and a half long, so really, you have absolutely nothing to lose. Cassandro! Cassandro!

October Offerings Part 1: Dumb Money & Fair Play

Your first cinematic selection this October is either a rousing true story from the not too distant past about average people fighting back against Wall Street, or a dark thriller about the screwed up gender dynamics between a couple who work on Wall Street. Either way, we can all agree. Wall Street = bad.

Dumb Money: This is the story of how a bunch of people on Reddit ended up buying GameStop stock and frightening a bunch of Wall Street billionaires who had shorted that stock with the expectation that the company was due to go bankrupt. Instead, Keith Gill (Paul Dano, putting in a subdued and masterful performance), a lower middle class financial analyst in Massachusetts, did a ton of research, saw that GameStop might be poised for a short squeeze, and decided to invest most of his life savings into the stock. What follows is a rousing tale of the people he inspired along the way and the fat cat Wall Street investors who had to sit up and take notice, until the whole thing eventually went all the way to Washington for an investigation into the stock market and corrupt trading practices. 

Written by Lauren Schuker Blum and Rebecca Angelo, and directed by Craig Gillespie, this movie is clever and propulsive. You will root for Keith and all the working class heroes and students who want to stick it to the man. The cast is particularly stellar, featuring great performances from America Ferrera, Shailene Woodley, Pete Davidson, Anthony Ramos, Seth Rogen, and Nick Offerman, to name a few. This is also an excellent Covid movie, a reminder of how we all used to live during the grim times of 2020 before we had a vaccine and didn't really know what the hell was going on. It's particularly telling how all the rich guys are always portrayed as being unmasked while the servants around them are masked up and serving them in silence - future generations will have no idea what a profound commentary that is on their villainy. This is a wonderfully entertaining film, a David vs Goliath battle, where some of the Davids get to win, but of course, Goliath is still undeterred, because...capitalism. 

Fair Play: Written and directed by Chloe Domont, this is a steamy Netflix thriller about Emily (Phoebe Dynevor) and Luke (Alden Ehrenreich), two analysts who work at a fast-paced Manhattan hedge fund that is straight out of Wolf of Wall Street. The two of them have been dating for a while, and the movie opens with their engagement (5-minute spoiler alert?), but no one at work has any idea that they are a couple (in flagrant violation of every HR rule in the book). Luke wants to disclose their relationship once he gets a big promotion that's up for grabs at work. Of course, Emily gets that promotion instead, and things quickly deteriorate into a resentful paranoid hellscape.

This is a twisty movie and it's reasonably watchable for a while, commenting on a lot of familiar gender dynamics and misogyny and the general finance bro douchiness of it all. I was also distracted by a large number of British actors who were playing very staunch New Yorkers and doing the classic "English actor does accent they have learned by watching American movies." But towards the end, everything got way too disturbing and I found myself unable to root for anybody. While Luke was definitely a terrible, terrible partner, I found myself equally fed up with Emily for retaliating with bad behavior, and treating Luke like dirt in the same way that he was dismissive of her. Sometimes I fear that people think feminism means that women get to act just like men, whereas I think the whole point of feminism is that women usually have more emotional intelligence and we need to make it more acceptable for men to act like women. Unfortunately, this film just goes off a cliff with everyone being obsessed with money and status and sex and violence. But, as a positive blow for feminism, this movie does not shy away from featuring a graphic amount of period sex. Rebecca Bunch would have been proud.

September Stew: A Haunting in Venice, The Inventor, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3

September featured an assortment of random films at the movie theaters and so now here's an assortment of reviews for your perusal.

A Haunting in Venice: Apparently Kenneth Branagh has decided that all he is doing from here on out is Hercule Poirot movies. And frankly, I’m not mad about it. Are these movies works of art? No. But am I a massive Agatha Christie fan who enjoys any adaptations of her work and is pleasantly surprised at the set pieces Branagh conjures up for each new film? You betcha.

In this installment, writer Michael Green has adapted the novel, Hallowe'en Party, which is set in a quintessentially English village, and instead moved it to midnight at Venice. This film is absolutely *brimming* with ambiance. And yes, it's a typical Poirot murder mystery where someone will get killed and our Belgian detective must employ his little gray cells to figure out who the killer is. But there are a lot of mystical and fantastical elements at play as well, which make this quite a spooky movie. It isn't quite horror, but it certainly features a number of jump scares and an eerie score by Hildur Guonadottir that will keep you on your toes. 

Like the previous films, this is a stacked cast, featuring people like Tina Fey, Jamie Dornan, Kelly Reilly, and Michelle Yeoh. They all look like they're having a whale of a time running around this creepy palazzo, trying not to get murdered, while a storm rages outside and Venice is flooding. It's a fun, creepy, entertaining film, and definitely one of your better options this weekend at the theater. 

The Inventor: I'll be honest, I watched this movie a few weeks ago and have already forgotten most of it. Which is not to say that it's bad, but I was sitting next to a very noisy family with young children, and as such it was a little hard to pay attention. Word of advice: while this is an animated film, it is probably too high-concept to keep a child entertained for 90 minutes. 

Directed by Jim Copobianco, this is a movie about Leonardo da Vinci (delightfully voiced by Stephen Fry) when he moved from Italy to France, and pursued a vision of designing the ideal city. It is gently funny but still informative, and would delight anyway who is into history, art, da Vinci, or just beautiful stop-motion animation in general. But it is also weirdly a musical. Which was very funny because Fry would just speak-sing his bits, while it turns out Daisy Ridley, who voices Princess Marguerite, has a rather lovely singing voice. Apart from that though, I can't say anything else really stood out. This is the kind of film that might be great to nap to during an afternoon because it is so soothing and beautiful. I know that's not much of an endorsement, but I know there are people for whom this is exactly the kind of thing they are seeking, so there you go! 

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3: Yes, I know, I was really scraping the barrel in my need to watch movies on the big screen this month. I'll say it right off the bat - this is not a good movie. But given that it is officially fall and it has been cold and rainy for a week, you might greatly enjoy escaping to the sunny climes of Greece for an hour and a half and getting hungry at the lashes of food featured in nearly every scene. But that's about it. 

Nia Vardalos still stars as Toula, but she also wrote and directed, and oof this script is a hot mess. It was honestly laughable how it would move from one scene to a completely unrelated next scene, and the dialogue felt like a kindergarten play. There are lots of little side-plots, none of which are remotely fleshed out, and they all get tied up neatly with a bow almost as soon as they are presented. Everyone looks like they are having a grand time, because they are in Greece after all, but other than that, this movie is so shoddy. But to be clear, it's bad in a bewildering way, not in a frustrating way. I didn't leave the theater feeling mad about wasting my time, I just left feeling very bemused about what the filmmakers were even thinking. Because again, there's nothing else to watch these days, and at least I got to vacation in Greece for a bit. So, the bar is already pretty low, and yet this film does not manage to clear it. Opa!

Bottoms: A New Kind of High School Movie

It's slim pickings at the movie theater right now, which is all the more reason you should run over to watch Bottoms. Directed by Emma Seligman (whose first feature, Shiva Baby, should be the first thing on your streaming watchlist if you haven't seen it already), this is a raucous film that heralds the evolution of the high school movie genre for our current generation. 

Rachel Sennott (who also co-wrote the screenplay with Seligman) and Ayo Edebiri star as PJ and Josie, two losers who are at the bottom of their high school's social hierarchy. They are both lesbians with crushes on Isabel and Brittany (Havana Rose Liu and Kaia Gerber), two pretty cheerleaders, and they simply do not have a shot. But then, a series of events transpire, and they come up with the idea of starting a self-defense class for the women of the school. They hope that Isabel and Brittany will join, of course, but turns out there are a lot of random girls in the school who want a taste of female empowerment. All of a sudden, they have a female fight club on their hands.

I would like to be clear, this movie is spectacularly dumb. But it is spectacularly dumb in the best way, the way that we love about all high school movies we harbor a nostalgic fondness for. The cast is wonderful, the friendships and heartbreak and unrequited love all feels earned and true, and there is oh so much adolescent queer angst. But also, there is a lot of over-the-top violence and bloodshed, and a diabolical plot with a rival high school that certainly escalates to extreme levels.

Bottoms is a thoroughly entertaining and raunchy ride that is almost exclusively about women and written and directed by women. The most significant male characters are the douchey quarterback, Jeff (played hilarious by Nicholas Galitzine, who was just playing a very prim and proper prince in Red, White & Royal Blue), and Mr. G, played by Marshawn Lynch, who does a wonderful job as the teacher who serves as the club's advisor and starts to get really into feminism as he learns more about the struggle to be a teenage girl. Also, this movie is only 88 minutes long and has a blooper reel over the end credits. Seriously, how could it not be worth your time? 

September Scams: BS High & Telemarketers

Are you in the mood for a very specific binge? Well, I've got two compelling scammer documentaries that you might want to dive into.

BS High: This is a fascinating movie about Roy Johnson, a man who essentially created a fake high school called Bishop Sycamore High that purported to be a football powerhouse. He recruited young athletes who didn't get football scholarships out of high school or were otherwise disenfranchised, and promised to prep them for a year to play at an elite level and get the notice of college recruiters so all their football dreams would come true.

As you can imagine, this is a terrible story about a con artist and the families he swindled. What's fascinating about it is that Johnson is the star of the documentary, willingly talking to the filmmakers about his scam, and displaying an almost pathological intensity to lie...but in an honest way? The man is an absolute piece of garbage, but you know what's worse? The fact that he got away with this whole scheme and didn't end up in jail. Because the things he did were deemed so nuts, that no one thought you even needed to write a law to say "hey, don't do that." 

This is a very American tale about football, hubris, lack of opportunity for disadvantaged youths, and the complete unwillingness of government bureaucracy to do anything to right a local wrong unless something is broadcast on television and gets a national spotlight. I can't promise you will feel good after watching this film, but it is certainly compelling viewing.

Telemarketers: This is a three-part documentary series that was filmed over the course of two decades by Sam Lipman-Stern, a man who worked at a New Jersey office of Civic Development Group (CDG), a telemarketing company. He joined CDG as a wayward teenager, a high-school dropout who needed a way to make money, and CDG was known as a place that would hire anyone as long as they could make sales. Sam started filming the shenanigans that went on at this inane office, a place that was the stuff of HR nightmares. Many of the employees were former prisoners or drug dealers, but Sam befriends a man named Pat Pespas. While Pat was a heroin addict, he was also an expert salesman and would rack up commissions daily even if he was almost falling asleep at his desk. But when Pat realizes that his calls and scripts where CDG purports to be fundraising for various charities feel bogus, he and Sam embark on an epic years-long investigation to discover just how deep this conspiracy goes.

The show is definitely shaggy and not terribly well-edited. Sam never quite made it as a filmmaker, and bits of footage are repetitive and cobbled together haphazardly. But the central tenet is still fascinating, a vast conspiracy between the police and telemarketing companies designed to fleece people (mostly elderly folks who are the only ones who answer their phones anymore, and immigrants who are terrified of the police) of money that ultimately goes to line the pockets of greedy businessmen. And as with BS High, this is yet another example of folks who get by without breaking any major laws and therefore periodically get a slap on the wrist before they just start the whole scheme up again under a new name.

Again, this is not a movie designed to make you feel good about anything that's going on, and again, it will leave you with plenty of distaste for the American political system and the bureaucracy that impedes the ability to actually protect citizens from scam artists. But the beautiful thing about both these movies is that you feel like they are going to get results simply because now these stories have been broadcast and lawmakers will be subject to the most motivating feeling of all...shame. So go ahead and watch Telemarketers. The more eyeballs we get on it, the closer we might be to shutting down these fraudsters for good. 

Comedy Binges: Jury Duty & Deadloch

Are you in need of a new show to binge through in one epic afternoon? Well I have two excellent suggestions for you. 

Jury Duty: The premise is simple - there's a man named Ronald who has been called in for jury duty. A film crew is present and he has been told that they are here to film a documentary about the jury duty process. Unbeknownst to Ronald, however, this is not a documentary, this is a set-up. He is the only regular person on this set. Everyone else -- the judge, the lawyers, the plaintiff, the defendant, and his fellow jury members -- are all actors. And for the next week, he is embroiled in a fake trial that has been fully scripted, with the only outlier being that the actors have no idea how Ronald will react to their shenanigans and will have to improvise accordingly. Oh also, one of the actors, is the very recognizable actor James Marsden, who plays "himself" except as a blowhard who keeps trying to get our of jury duty and puts Ronald into very compromising situations.

This show had the potential to be a prank show that mocked the unwitting Ronald. But what makes it so truly excellent is that the crew are committed to ensuring Ronald is the hero of the show. They let him drive decisions, and there is always a Plan A and a Plan B based on his reactions to ensure that if anything they do makes him feel bad, they immediately rectify the situation. Yes, he is put into some uncomfortable situations, but he rallies like a champ and over the course of jury duty, you can see how a true camaraderie builds between Ronald and the other actors because he is genuinely such a sweet and accommodating guy. 

Created by Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky, Jury Duty is a wonderful hybrid reality-sitcom with a lot of heart and humor. It is constantly funny and surprising, and the final episode, when all is revealed to Ronald, further emphasizes what a massively well-orchestrated show this is, where so many things could have gone wrong at any minute, but somehow miraculously didn't. This is a show unlike anything you've seen before, and it will thoroughly entertain you for eight short episodes. What are you waiting for?

Deadloch: Speaking of shows unlike anything you've seen before, strap in for an incredible gruesome Australian murder mystery that is somehow also insanely funny. Honestly, I do not know how the creators, Kate McCartney and Kate McLennon, developed the tone for this show, but it is absolutely remarkable how a show about a serial killer in a sleepy town in Tasmania where everyone has lots of angsty secrets also manages to be a hysterical comedy about a town that is overrun by a bunch of lesbians.

Yeah, this is a very queer show and it is spectacular. The senior sergeant of the local police station is Dulcie Collins (Kate Box) and she is a very reserved and logical woman. Unfortunately, when the dead body shows up, management sends in Eddie Redcliffe (Madeleine Sami), an extremely brash detective from Darwin who is the polar opposite of Dulcie in terms of her approach to following police procedure. But of course, while this unlikely duo initially butt heads, soon enough they join forces to investigate this crime as the body count starts to go alarmingly high and the inhabitants of the entire town are spiraling out of control with doubt and suspicion.

There are plenty of red herrings, lots of personal drama, and I promise the resolution of the mystery is satisfying but somehow also elicits a wry chuckle as the killer and their motives tie back to this show's overall feminist, queer ethos. I love mysteries, I love feminists, and having a show where for eight episodes you watch two complicated but determined women solve a gruesome murder case despite all the obstacles thrown their way by cis het white dudes is a pure joy. And lest I forget, there is a whole other storyline on colonialism and the Aboriginal land that this town was built on in the first place. So yeah, Deadloch really checks all the boxes and is quite possibly going to be the best thing you binge all year. Get to it.

August Movies Part 2: Strays; Blue Beetle; Red, White & Royal Blue

August is winding down with a bit of a whimper in the movie department. However, there have still been some decent movies to watch in the theater or on streaming, so here are three suggestions for your upcoming weekend.

Strays: Directed by Josh Greenbaum and written by Dan Perrault, this is the story of Reggie, a naive little dog who thinks his owner, Doug (Will Forte), is just playing a game with him where he throws a ball a long way, says Fetch, and then drives off, only to be flummoxed when Reggie returns hours later with the ball. Doug, of course, is a terrible man who should be carted off to a police station immediately for animal cruelty, but Reggie just keeps trying to play with his human. Until finally, Doug drives him all the way to the big city, abandons him there, and Reggie is forced to confront the fact that maybe his owner doesn't want him.

What follows is a grand adventure where Reggie teams up with a bunch of dogs who all agree to help him find Doug and avenge himself. There are a bunch of shenanigans along the way (almost all of which you will be able to see in the trailer for this film) but it is all very silly, sweet, and heartwarming, and extremely R-rated. The voice cast of this film is what truly sells it - you've got Will Ferrell playing Reggie, and the supporting dogs are voiced by Jamie Foxx, Isla Fisher, and Randall Park, who all have very distinct personalities and do a wonderful job. This is the ideal summer comedy - raunchy, dumb, but entertaining and with a surprisingly sweet message about the importance of chosen family. And with a tight 93-minute runtime, you won't ever get bored.

Blue Beetle: The DC Cinematic Universe is under new management, and they have kicked things off with this assured film directed by Angel Manuel Soto and written by Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer. Here, we get the story of Jaime Reyes (Cobra Kai's wonderful Xolo Mariduena), a young college graduate who returns home to Palmera City, only to find that his family might be getting evicted and money is tight. Desperate to help out, he seeks out an opportunity at Kord Industries, a giant corporation that is very into manufacturing weapons and glorying in the excesses of capitalism. Unfortunately, he gets caught up in some unexpected drama between Jenny Kord (Bruna Marquezine), the granddaughter of the man who founded Kord Industries, and her aunt, Victoria Kord (Susan Sarandon). Victoria is the villain of the piece, a woman who is hell bent on using the Scarab, an ancient artefact that has the potential to be a gamechanger in weapons technology. But when Jaime gets a hold of the Scarab instead, it fuses with him, turning him into the Blue Beetle.

Many shenanigans ensue. Initially, it's all very funny as Jaime is being controlled by this strange weapon that has chosen him to be its host and is capable of all manner of wizardry. But then things get serious as his family is threatened, and he needs to learn to fight back to protect them. There's nothing in this film that is particularly revelatory from a superhero origin standpoint. But what IS fresh and exciting is that this is a Mexican superhero with a very involved family. The supporting cast of Adriana Barraza, Elpidia Carrillo, Damian Alcazar, Belissa Escobedo, and George Lopez, who play Jaime's grandmother, mother, father, sister, and uncle, is fantastic, and helps to elevate this film from being a paint-by-the-numbers superhero movie. They bring humor and heart, and while the action sequences wore on me after a while, I never got tired of scenes with Jaime and his family. This is a fun film that doesn't take itself too seriously, and while it's a bit bloated, it has enough charm to be a worthy addition to your summer movie list.

Red, White & Royal Blue: I had already devoured the novel by Casey McQuiston last year, so was very excited to hear that this film adaptation was coming to Amazon Prime. Directed by Matthew Lopez, from a script he adapted with Ted Malawer, this is a breezy enemies-to-lovers queer romantic comedy about what happens when the American President's son, Alex (Taylow Zakhar Perez), discovers that maybe he has a thing for Prince Henry (Nicholas Galitzine), second-in-line to the British throne. Yup, this plot takes the US-UK "special relationship" to a whole other level.

Listen, I can't possibly convince you either way on this movie. If, like me, you are already a huge fan of romance novels and/or queer love stories, you will be entertained to see this tale on the big screen. Of course I think the book is better, but this adaptation is a creditable effort to bring this story to life, and it's just nice to see two hot men get it on and have silly romantic drama that is all going to come to a  gloriously satisfying resolution at the end (spoiler alert!). If you are a snob who looks down on the romance genre in literature and movies, you won't be bothered to give this movie a try. If you're a homophobe, who has no interest in watching a gay love story, why are you even reading my blog, move on! So yeah, log on to Amazon Prime and prepare for two hours of silly, splendid, swoony good times (and also Uma Thurman doing a hilarious Texan accent). After which, I hope you will pick up the book and then come to me for a reading list of other romances you absolutely have to read next.