It's cold, it's rainy, why bother going out? Stay indoors and check out some streaming movies! Whether you're looking for some Christmas, Bollywood, or murder comedy, I've got something for everyone.
The Archies: All I knew about this film was that it was directed by Zoya Akhtar and was based on Archie comics. Zoya is my favorite Indian director and I devoured Archie comics as a kid so this film was supposed to be a slam dunk, right? Unfortunately, I did not realize that a bunch of nepo babies had been cast in the lead roles: Archie is played by Amitabh Bachchan’s grandson, Agastya Nanda, Veronica is Shahrkuh Khan's daughter, Suhana, and Betty is Sridevi’s daughter, Khushi Kapoor, who, to be fair, is the only one I actually liked in the film). Rounding out the cast we have Mihir Ahuja, Vedang Raina, and Aditi "Dot" Saigal as Jughead, Reggie, and Ethel. But the supporting cast is largely superfluous because of course the main story is about the love triangle and Archie messing around with Betty and Veronica. Dude would have really loved dating in 2023 and all the ethical non-monogamy.
Interestingly, the movie is set in the 1960s, in an Anglo-Indian community in India called Riverdale that was established by a British general who loved the country and decided to stay after Independence instead of going back to London. The production design and costumes are gorgeous and this is a wonderful movie to look at. There is also a song almost every minute, which is excessive even by Bollywood standards, but that soundtrack is ridiculously infectious and my fiancé still keeps humming, “Archie, Archie, everything is politics!” weeks after we finished watching the film. But the script is rather basic and the acting performances from these newbies do nothing to elevate the material. This movie is certainly a charming way to while away an afternoon, but don’t expect anything revelatory.
Family Switch: Written by Victoria Strouse and Adam Szytkiel, and directed by McG, this was my first Christmas movie of the year. Ed Helms and Jennifer Garner star as Bill and Jess, two loving parents who are trying to manage their angsty teenage kids, CC and Wyatt (Emma Myers and Brady Noon), along with their new baby and dog. When the family go to an observatory to take a holiday photo, they all get into a fight, with the son accusing his father of knowing nothing about his interests, the mother and daughter bickering about how neither one understands the other, etc. You know, standard family drama. But, of course, when they wake up the next morning, they discover they have all switched bodies - the father is now in the son’s body and vice versa, and ditto for mother and daughter. And then shenanigans ensue.
We’ve all seen many movies like this. You’ll probably be able to predict every beat from start to finish. But it’s a Christmas movie and we don’t watch those for surprises and unpredictability! We watch them for silliness and jollity! This movie is dumb and will not be entering my list of movies I rewatch every year. But did I regret watching it this year? Not for a single instant. Ho ho ho!
Mr. Monk’s Last Case: I have not seen an episode of Monk or thought about this show for more than a decade. But back when it was airing on USA, my parents and I would sit down and religiously watch it every Friday night (yeah, I was a wild and crazy youth). So, imagine my surprise when I got an email from Peacock telling me that they were now streaming a Monk movie about what happens when Adrian Monk (the always wonderful Tony Shalhoub) has to help his stepdaughter whose fiancé dies in a bungee jumping accident on the day before her wedding. Could it be - gasp - murder?!
Obviously, it IS murder and for 90 minutes we get a diverting mystery involving a Bezos-esque corrupt tech billionaire and some familiar faces from the old show. This is all taking place post-pandemic so there are some fun jokes about how everyone is now sanitizing their hands and behaving like Monk, but as you can imagine, the pandemic was an absolute disaster for his mental health. In fact, there’s a rather dark thread throughout this film about Monk’s state of mind and it definitely didn’t jibe with the comic tone of the rest of the proceedings. But ultimately, this was a good nostalgia watch - I don’t think it will mean anything to people who never watched the show, though the mystery was quite fun to follow, but if you did regularly watch Monk in the olden days, this might scratch an itch you never even knew you had.
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