May Blockbusters: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 & Fast X

Head on over to the IMAX, Hollywood's got big action blockbusters coming your way! If you're ready for some mindless entertainment, this is how you should be spending your long weekend.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3: I loved the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie but genuinely cannot remember what happened in the second. So it should come as no surprise that I mostly endured this third installment in the franchise. It mostly serves as the origin story of Rocket Raccoon (voiced by Bradley Cooper), so be prepared for a tragic and emotional tale of the worst that humanity (or in this case, aliens I guess) has to offer. But of course, we still have our stalwart Guardians who are by Rocket's side. When he gets into trouble, they need to embark on an epic journey to piece together his past so they can save his life and secure his future. And they will do so with characteristic bumbling humor and many fight sequences, set to a slew of music.

What I loved so much about the first Guardians movie was the music and the humor. When it came out, it was the funniest Marvel movie by far, and I still cannot hear Come and Get Your Love by Redbone without immediately flashing back to that incredible opening sequence of Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) dancing around a dangerous planet. Unfortunately, this movie was just not as funny, eschewing the quips for extended action sequences instead. Given that it was two and a half hours long, that was just too loud and brash for me to endure. And sadly, the soundtrack simply couldn't pass muster either. The songs were either ones I had never heard before, or deployed just for a few seconds before the loud action sound design overtook any melodies. The only joyous music choice came at the very end when Florence + the Machine sang us out with Dog Days Are Over. Unfortunately, at that point, it was a little too late. 

This movie is still a slam dunk for folks who love this particular franchise within the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And it's gorgeous and visually inventive as always, with plenty of space stuff to tickle your fancy. But if you're ambivalent about the MCU, this is not the film that's going to kick you out of your stupor.

Fast X: I had never watched a Fast and the Furious movie until my fiance made me watch Fast Five on a plane in March. That was in preparation for Fast X, this tenth installment that is currently in theaters, and which serves as a sort-of-direct sequel to Fast Five. The villain in this film, Dante Reyes (played with campy brilliance by Jason Momoa, whose hairstyles keep getting more elaborate as the film progresses), is the son of the villain from Fast Five, and he is wreaking vengeance upon Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) for killing his father in that movie. Oops, spoiler alert?

Anyway, that's all the plot I'm giving you, because at the end of the day, this is a Fast and the Furious movie, and you didn't come here for plot, did you? There are incredible car chases across Rome and Portugal, wonderful stunt sequences involving cars, helicopters, bridges, dams, and a bizarre bomb that's merrily rolling along to the Vatican. There's stilted dialogue, corny jokes, terrible acting and great acting. There's also a veritable who's who of cameos from all the insanely great actors this franchise has lured in for a paycheck over the years who have presumably all then stuck around because this is such mindless good fun. I mean, once you have Dame Helen Mirren popping in to do five minutes of a Cockney accent, you know all bets are off.

This movie is fun, dumb, and action-packed. You don't need to know anything before you go into it, but I do think it enhanced my experience somewhat to watch it with my fiance as he provided ongoing commentary on the sheer volume of cameos and callbacks to the previous ten films in the franchise. But if you're just here to watch some shit explode and see some cars go vroom vroom, grab a seat. You'll have a wonderful time.