Holiday Movie Watch: Hot Frosty, Our Little Secret, The Merry Gentlemen, Nutcrackers

'Tis the season! Once Thanksgiving was over, I began mainlining Christmas movies on streaming platforms. If you're ready for some thoroughly mindless entertainment to put you into the holiday spirit, let's jingle all the way!

Hot Frosty: This is the movie everyone's talking about. Directed by Jerry Ciccoritti and written by Russell Hainline, this movie stars Lacey Chabert as Kathy, a lonely widow who runs the cafe in her small town. She puts a scarf around a snowman that was made for a local competition, and lo and behold, later that night, the snowman magically comes alive. And this is no pot-bellied snowman with a carrot nose. This snowman is played by Dustin Milligan and has some chiseled abs. Is this high art? No. But is every actor committed to the silliness and having a whale of a time in this movie? You bet. The supporting cast includes Craig Robinson and Joe Lo Truglio as the local sheriffs who are looking to identify this mysterious man who has appeared in town, and yes, while initially the snowman has no idea what's going on and seems to be about as mature as a toddler, he thankfully has a real quick learning curve so it's not too icky when an inevitable romance begins to brew. Pour out a mug of hot chocolate and settle in, because this is the coziest movie you're gonna watch this week.

Our Little Secret: I 100% support Linday Lohan's pivot into becoming a Netflix romcom queen. In this film, directed by Stephen Herek and written by Hailey DeDominicis, Lohan plays Avery, a woman who is visiting her boyfriend Cameron's (Jon Rudnitsky) family over the holidays. Unfortunately, Cameron's sister, Cassie (Katie Baker) brings home her boyfriend, Logan (Ian Harding). Who is, of course, Avery's ex-boyfriend. Naturally, Avery and Logan decide not to tell anyone that they used to date, which leads to many shenanigans and ruses. And of course, they're not the only one in this house harboring a secret - everyone's got something to hide, and by the end, all will be revealed. It's absolutely charming, classic holiday fare, and I thoroughly enjoyed every second. Kristin Chenoweth also stars as Cameron's snarky mother who goes around blessing everyone's heart and being the mother-in-law of their nightmares. Almost every beat is predictable, though there was one twist towards the end that I absolutely did not see coming, so I offer that up as additional enticement. But otherwise, this is the perfect movie to be watching while you put up your tree and wrap presents. Fa la la la la!

The Merry Gentlemen: Do you love the holidays but wish they involved more topless male dancing? Well, this movie, directed by Peter Sullivan and written by Marla Sokoloff, has you covered! Britt Robertson stars as Ashley, a dancer in Manhattan (she is a "Jingle Belle" which is basically just an off-brand Rockette), who gets canned for being too old, and sadly heads back to her small town for Christmas. When she gets there, she finds out that the bar her parents' own is in trouble and needs a massive cash infusion if they want tohang on to it past the holidays. So naturally, Ashley decides the only solution is so stage an all-male revue and put on performances till Christmas to raise money. One of the dudes she recruits is the local handyman, Luke (Chad Michael Murray, whose hair is particularly distracting throughout the film), as well as the local barman and some other men who can actually dance, unlike Murray, who laughably spends most of the time standing in the back of these routines with his shirt off, trying to look sexy without moving too much. Again, it's predictable and dumb, but it is full of holiday cheer and shirtless men, so what's not to like?

Nutcrackers: I need to be clear right off the bat that I did NOT like this movie so am emphatically not recommending you watch it if you want to feel some holiday uplift. But here's a short review nonetheless. Written by Leland Douglas and directed by David Gordon Green, Ben Stiller stars as Michael, a man who has to take a break from his high-powered job in Chicago to drive down to a farm in rural Ohio so he can serve as temporary guardian to his four unruly nephews after his sister and brother-in-law tragically died in a car accident. The children are out of control and Michael was somewhat estranged from his sister, so he basically just wants the social worker, played by Linda Cardellini, to quickly find foster parents for these kids so he can wash his hands of them and head back to his real life. And then of course, he spends more time with the kids, gets more entwined with the local townsfolk, and yada yada yada. This movie is mostly chaotic vibes, and the tone is weird throughout, never quite funny enough or dramatic enough, just aggressively mid. If that sounds like the kind of thing you're into, go ahead, but otherwise, stick to the three ridiculous movies I recommended above instead.