In & Of Itself: Mesmerizing Magic

Last week, my Twitter feed blew up with various celebrities tweeting about how much they loved Derek DelGaudio's In & Of Itself. I had heard of this stage show while it was playing in NYC, but had forgotten about it until now. So when two college friends proposed a Zoom movie night, I suggested loading this up on Hulu and seeing what the fuss was about. All we knew was that it was a magic show...maybe? But by the end, I finally understood why no one has been able to describe this show except in the vaguest way possible. The Hulu website describes it as a "lyric poem" and while that is hilariously pretentious, I can't do any better. Let's see what I can do.

This adaptation was directed by Frank Oz and is a compilation of multiple shows that were staged over the course of its two-year off-Broadway run. The show begins with the audience members having to pick out an "I AM" card that describe them, e.g. "I AM a grandpa" or "I AM an organizer" or "I AM an accountant." These are then collected by the ushers and put into a stack that DelGaudio will draw from during the rest of the show, in ways that I cannot detail here because, c'mon, I can't ruin the surprise.

Honestly, I don't know what else to tell you, because this is emphatically one of those pop culture experiences that you need to see/feel for yourself. If I were to describe everything that happened in detail, you would be left wondering why on earth I was raving about this show. So I need you to just trust me and give it a shot. And I say this knowing that you may or may not end up loving it. The friends I watched it with thought it was fine, but one of them thought it was too dark when she was just in the mood for a light magic show, while the other one was so caught up in trying to figure out how DelGaudio was pulling off his tricks that she didn't really buy into the story's emotional resonance. I, on the other hand, was the target audience member for this triumphant piece of storytelling. 

As a child, I loved magic tricks and there was a time when I would try to put on magic shows for friends and family. I grew out of the performing phase but I never grew out of my love of magic. Over the years, I have watched interviews with magicians and gotten some insight into how they perform. And one thing that always comes up is the patter. Magicians are always talking because they're trying to distract you from their sleight of hand or the other onstage shenanigans that make their tricks work. And my sense of most magicians has always been that they're a little bit slick and polished. I love their tricks, but I don't necessarily love them. But DelGaudio is different. For this show, his persona is a little sad, a little lost, and as the show progresses, he radiates this loving empathy and resonance with all of the audience members that culminates in spectacular fashion. And I know it's impossible to understand how empathy in an intimate stage show can radiate off the screen years later when you're watching this show at home, but believe me, it does. I cried twice during this show, even as I was texting my friends with various theories about how he had managed to pull off these tricks. Because it turns out that DelGaudio isn't just content with distracting you with his patter. His patter is going to delve into your psyche and make you sob. It seems silly to me to call DelGaudio a magician, because this is a tour-de-force performance, and he needs to be heralded more as a writer and actor for creating this magical story and performing it with such heartfelt earnestness. 

So keep an open mind and watch In & Of Itself. The magic is magnificent, but the emotion is so much more impactful. But if you find yourself untouched by emotion, I can still promise some entertainment via the celebrity cameos that will pop up in the audience, as word of mouth ensured that many famous faces showed up during this show's run. My only regret is that I never saw it in person, but given how affected I was just by watching this show on an iPad over Zoom, I'm not sure my heart could have borne a live performance. During a pandemic, where we all feel a bit isolated and increasingly turn to our self-imposed identities, this show is a reminder of the people in our lives who see all our different facets and refuse to let us just be one thing. I have no idea what "I AM" card I would pick on any given day at any given minute, but all I know is that after watching this show, I'm going to be paying a lot more attention to the story I'm telling about myself.